2 Week Wait of Hell

Google search for Happy Dance

Happy news!  The house guest is gone!!!!  I have to say that I don't hate people, but I hate them when they're in my house unless they are 1 of approximately 5 people who I could tell, "You're annoying me!" to.

So happy dance 'cause it's all Dre and I and no else now.  Dre's happy to...he gets more sex now...cause really is there a good way to be like, "Errrrr, I know it's only 6 PM, but we're going now...er...to...err...nap."  Yeah, nope it's just really awkward:-)

So in other news, I've been charting my temps this month hoping to get back in the habit of waking up at the godawful hour of 6AM and staying awake long enough to take my temperature AND write it down. 

It's not as easy as it seems people.

Half the time, I go back to sleep and realize that my mouth is open and I'm letting all this cold air touch the damn thermometer so now I have to start again.  The other half of the time, I can't even find my mouth to put the thermometer in because I'm still asleep.  It's a problem people!

Anyways, I've been charting and have been expecting AF anytime now since it's been 5 weeks since my miscarriage.  Lo and behold all of sudden, my chart shows a damn ovulation on day FREAKING 27!  Well, no AF for my until I'm at least 6 weeks from miscarriage now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that my body is cooperating and has decided to start doing the ovulation thing again so soon, but this chart is gonna mess all my averages on Fertility Friend and all that shit. 

Even crazier is the fact that Dre and I definitely had sex on the Sunday that I ovulated.  So much for waiting until AF showed up before we started trying again.  I guess my body was not happy with that plan so it decided to rebel:-)

So now I'm in the dreaded 2 week waiting period before I can test.  I'm 10 days past ovulation today so I could technically test, but last time when I actually got pregnant I got a BFN (that's a negative) at 9 days past ovulation (DPO) and my positive was when I decided to retest at 16 DPO.  So now FF wants me to wait until I'm 16 days DPO which is next Tuesday by the way until I test.

I swear I'm gonna go crazy by then!  The problem is that I've been down this road recently and while I looked forward to testing every month I didn't worry about it overmuch or get too depressed about seeing a BFN.  As someone on The Bump said last week, "As you all know m/c really sucks the innocent bliss out of pregnancy."  I couldn't find a better way to express my feelings. 

Last time, I went innocently along not even thinking about the testing crap until I took a test on Christmas Eve to find out if I could drink.  And when it was negative, I just waited for AF who was sure to come.  Even when i was 5 days late, I was wondering if I should really test because every other time I tested in the morning and AF came later that day.  And then I tested and the damn test was actually positive.  That was utterly shocking!

This time I just feel like there's a hammer poised over my head just waiting to smack on the head.  There is no carefree gallivanting across these 2 weeks to my periods...there's just waiting. 

Unbearable, agonizing waiting.

So you'll find me here waiting for another 6 days unless I decide to pee on a test this weekend just to keep myself more sane.

Time

What is up with Daylight Savings Time or however you spell that?

When I was a kid I used to think it was so cool that we got to change the clocks.  It was really exciting to wake up in the morning and see if we had all remembered to set our clocks forward or backward.  Every time you looked at a clock the day after you always had a little doubt about whether or not that was actually the time.  

Well, I'm not 5 anymore and time change has definitely lost it's appeal for me! 

I HATE Daylight Savings Time!  There I said it.  I cannot stand having to force my poor, tired body to wake up when it's pitch black just so I can get an extra hour of daylight at the end of the day.  I say join all the really smart Province of Saskatchewan and the States of Arizona, Indiana, and Hawaii and let's stop doing the stupid thing we do with our clocks twice a year.

Your body will thank me for it.  Or maybe not.

Since we're not farmers working in the fields anymore (not that there's anything wrong with farmers) and we have this modern invention called outside lighting, we don't need to extend our day anymore.  I seriously doubt that changing the time twice a year saves that much electricity for anyone.  Now instead of turning on my lights at night when I get home, I get to turn on my light in the morning while getting ready to go.

All right I'm done talking about that till Fall when we add an extra hour...AGAIN.

In other news, I'm still waiting on my doctor to call me back so I can see if I can schedule my ultrasound this week instead of at the end of next week or the week after that.  Bleeding has pretty much completely stopped so I don't see how waiting for an extra week is going to change how much stuff is or is not left in my uterus. 

Since I started charting with Fertility Friend again (I'll link my chart to this blog some day), my chart is telling me I should ovulate in the next 3 days:-(  That makes me sad because I'm probably not going to ovulate since I think my HCG levels have to be below 5 for my cycle to reset itself.  When the doctor calls, I need to remember to ask her what they were at my last blood draw.  So, here's to hoping that my levels have already dropped below 5 and that my cycle is on the way to resetting itself. 

The possible stuff left in the uterus...I'll worry about that after the next ultrasound.