One crazy day at a life!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

2 Week Wait of Hell

Google search for Happy Dance

Happy news!  The house guest is gone!!!!  I have to say that I don't hate people, but I hate them when they're in my house unless they are 1 of approximately 5 people who I could tell, "You're annoying me!" to.

So happy dance 'cause it's all Dre and I and no else now.  Dre's happy to...he gets more sex now...cause really is there a good way to be like, "Errrrr, I know it's only 6 PM, but we're going"  Yeah, nope it's just really awkward:-)

So in other news, I've been charting my temps this month hoping to get back in the habit of waking up at the godawful hour of 6AM and staying awake long enough to take my temperature AND write it down. 

It's not as easy as it seems people.

Half the time, I go back to sleep and realize that my mouth is open and I'm letting all this cold air touch the damn thermometer so now I have to start again.  The other half of the time, I can't even find my mouth to put the thermometer in because I'm still asleep.  It's a problem people!

Anyways, I've been charting and have been expecting AF anytime now since it's been 5 weeks since my miscarriage.  Lo and behold all of sudden, my chart shows a damn ovulation on day FREAKING 27!  Well, no AF for my until I'm at least 6 weeks from miscarriage now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that my body is cooperating and has decided to start doing the ovulation thing again so soon, but this chart is gonna mess all my averages on Fertility Friend and all that shit. 

Even crazier is the fact that Dre and I definitely had sex on the Sunday that I ovulated.  So much for waiting until AF showed up before we started trying again.  I guess my body was not happy with that plan so it decided to rebel:-)

So now I'm in the dreaded 2 week waiting period before I can test.  I'm 10 days past ovulation today so I could technically test, but last time when I actually got pregnant I got a BFN (that's a negative) at 9 days past ovulation (DPO) and my positive was when I decided to retest at 16 DPO.  So now FF wants me to wait until I'm 16 days DPO which is next Tuesday by the way until I test.

I swear I'm gonna go crazy by then!  The problem is that I've been down this road recently and while I looked forward to testing every month I didn't worry about it overmuch or get too depressed about seeing a BFN.  As someone on The Bump said last week, "As you all know m/c really sucks the innocent bliss out of pregnancy."  I couldn't find a better way to express my feelings. 

Last time, I went innocently along not even thinking about the testing crap until I took a test on Christmas Eve to find out if I could drink.  And when it was negative, I just waited for AF who was sure to come.  Even when i was 5 days late, I was wondering if I should really test because every other time I tested in the morning and AF came later that day.  And then I tested and the damn test was actually positive.  That was utterly shocking!

This time I just feel like there's a hammer poised over my head just waiting to smack on the head.  There is no carefree gallivanting across these 2 weeks to my periods...there's just waiting. 

Unbearable, agonizing waiting.

So you'll find me here waiting for another 6 days unless I decide to pee on a test this weekend just to keep myself more sane.

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