Tuesday musings

 Do you know what’s impressive?

It’s something I would never have noticed last year.

It is…the fact that I don’t pee often in a day when I’m not pregnant.  

I used to think I had to pee all the time.  Not anymore!  Now that I’ve been pregnant and experienced the sheer insanity of having to pee every 15 minutes I know better. This is the type of silly thing you think about now I guess.  

I guess this type of stuff is on my mind more right now since my ovulation is coming up and I’m trying to figure out if I should start testing today for it or wait till tomorrow.  I’m trying to conserve tests since I’ve managed to go through 60ish tests in the last 5 months.  Craziness!

Some people say I’m too obsessive about this.  They might be right.  I think that it’s better to be informed about how your body is working and when is the best time to try to get pregnant than blindly have sex, assume your ovulation is on day 14ish, and hope that you get pregnant whenever it happens.  I like being in control and being informedJ

Dre might be happy with that approach, but I don’t think I’m built to go about blindly hoping that lightning strikes me—your chances of getting pregnant on a prefect cycle (sex before, on, and after ovulation, perfect CM, and your moons aligning) are only about 20% which makes you wonder how anyone ever gets pregnant—and I end up winning the lottery…the pregnancy lottery that is.

So, I’ve been charting and so far my temps this cycle have been behaving much better than last cycle so fingers crossed!

Yes, this happens to be what I’m obsessed with lately and most ppl who know me will tell you that I tend to obsess over one thing to no end.  This time I decided to split my obsessing with also obsessing about my calories.

Well, good news about all that obsessing is that my weight has dropped from 158-159 (post-miscarriage weight…surprisingly the weight doesn’t melt away after you miscarry) to 152.5 in about 1.5 months. I’m so happy about that you have no idea!

My goal is to keep watching my calories to make sure I’m getting good nutrition and to reduce my weight to a more healthy weight of 140ish pounds.  After I get pregnant…soon, I hope....I’ll keep tracking my calories because I think it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking that you’re getting enough calories/veggies/nutrition that your body needs.  When I track my calories, I also keep track of how many glasses of water I drink a day and that’s really helpful in getting me to drink at least 8 glasses of water.

So that’s my goal for the next few months.

1. Get pregnant.
2. Lost weight until I can maintain around 140.

I decided to put it on here so that I would feel more accountable and keep doing it even though I really want to eat all the candy I can possibly find and all the brownies I can cook…

My crack

Well, Blogger is finally back after being down FOREVER!  

That was dangerous to my health people!  I couldn’t get my daily dose of funny and crazy while trying to wake up enough to do some work this morning.

I sat down at my desk at precisely 8:00AM (ha, does anyone actually believe I was on time…) and cradled my cup of steaming coffee—Wait! What do you mean, I never drink steaming coffee—well you’re right it was a cup of plain water…just like I like it.

I started my computer and settled back ready for some amusing and interesting stuff to show up.  I click on Blogger from my favorites menu and an error message appears telling me the site is down.

I tell myself I’m going to come back after I read my non-blogger blogs and everything will be right with the world.  Right?

WRONG!

An hour later and my daily fix of crack…uhm…sanity is NOT WORKING!  

What do I do, what do I do, WHAT DO I DO?

Yeah, I don’t know how I made through the morning either.  I must have self-medicated myself with the yummy Fiber One bar I had and blanked out the atrocity of my morning from my memory.

Now, it’s back, but all the posts from the last 2 days are GONE.  For now.  Or so they say. 

Anyways, moving on. 

In just a couple of hours, the glorious weekend shall commence and I will be free, free, free to do nothing. That’s just how I like my weekends!

Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows!

It is amazingly beautiful outside today! 

I can finally say that summer has come to Canada!

Although, it may leave us again in June...it's been know to happen!

All this sunshine is making me want to plant things and walk outside and be outside...but I'm stuck in my office for another hour.

That's okay because when I get home I'll be sure to enjoy some of that great sunshine!

I'll be sure to have a no calorie water on ice for you (yeah, calorie counting diets to make sure you're in prime baby making form and don't look too much like a whale next time you get pregnant are soooooo much fun).

Yep, it's gonna be me, the water, and my book soaking up the sun...

Thought on Mother's Day

Stolen from Google. 
Don't sue me 'cause I have no money and I'm too lazy to go take my own damn picture of flowers!

I don't happen to like Mother's Day, but it's not like I can tell my Mom that.  She'd probably have a heart attack at the thought that I didn't appreciate her enough and didn't want to celebrate. 

It's not that I don't appreciate my Mom.  I do.

But when I was a kid, I thought it was just an excuse for adults to get another gift out of us because there sure was no Kid's Day.  And that didn't work with my uber logical young brain.  Also, the rationalization given to kid's that every other day is kid's day is crap...no kid actually believes you since those days don't come with cake and a present.

I happen to still think that if there's going to be Mother's or Father's Day then there should also be a Kid's Day.  Also, in the last few years I've heard about this thing called Grandparent's Day.  Goodness!  It never ends!  What's next?  Uncle's Day?

I guess this year I found Mother's Day to be hard.  In the past, I've just ignored the day (yes, ppl I still called my Mom and sent her a card...I'm not crazy yet), but now that I've had a loss it's made me realize that this day is hard for many people.

This day where we celebrate mothers and tell them what a good job they're doing is a day that for many people mean face the fact that they are not mothers.  And sometimes with our consumer society it really gets shoved into our faces that it's Mother's Day and that we don't qualify because we haven't been able to become Mothers.  No, the world doesn't do this maliciously, but I guess I've realized that this day is very, very hard for many accross the world. 

Sidenote:  I really appreciated my church yesterday.  They asked ALL ladies to come up and get a reusable bag that we were to fill with sparkly goodies like shoes and purses and not groceries and a lovely rose.  I think they did an admirable job recognizing women and not just Mothers.

I've only had one miscarriage and haven't been trying to get pregnant for years so I can only imagine how the years of pent-up grief and anger at the situation can be really be amplified by this day.

I guess this day just brought back the fact to me that I should be right around 6 months pregnant now and that very soon my old due date will be looming and there's no sign that I'm pregnant again.  If I was, it might might make all of this a little easier to deal with. 

I'm just going to keep plugging along and hope that this new cycle will be the cycle where Dre and I are lucky because it's really hard to have Aunt Flo show up the day before Mother's Day and then have your Mom going on and on about what a great Mother's Day gift a baby would be.

Don't get me wrong I love my Mom, but she's hard to deal with.  Mostly because she's so old school and will say anything she thinks even if it's hurtful if she thinks that it's her parental or religious duty to tell you. 

Also, I don't know where parents got this really weird idea that us getting pregnant would somehow be a present for them. 

??? 

Really?  Seriously? 

I'm not having a baby and pushing it out of my vagina as a present for you Parents.

Mind boggling sometimes!

That's all for my emotional ranting about Mother's Day.  All of you out there who do have lovely bundles of joy or little mischevious darlings or sulky tweens and teens, I hope you enjoyed your day and got pampered.  Over here, I just wanted to share a little of what goes through the mind of those of us who haven't been able to become a mother.

The weekend cometh!

Still nothing much going on here in Boring Land.

Haven't peed on a stick or anything yet either.

"Why?", you ask.

Well, apparently my brain at 6am is incapable of processing the fact that it should pee on a stick.  Instead it goes on vacation until about 10am when I decide to join the world of the living and start talking to my co-workers.

I'm so totally a morning person...can't you tell?

So today has been interesting because my brain decided to go back into hibernation right after lunch.  I think it's trying to tell me that it's over the work thing for the week and that the weekend just needs to get here!

That's all for today folks. 

Except for letting you all know that I might go watch Thor or Fast Five tonight.  Which one do you think has the more drool worthy guys in it?  And ssssshhhhhhhhh don't tell Dre...he thinks we're going for the story and the action.  Silly man!

Today needs to go away

So that Friday can get here and my weekend can commence!

I usually like Thursdays, but today I'm struggling. 

It might have something to do with the blinding, shooting pain in my lower back.  Makes sitting down at a desk all day not fun.

Yesterday, I was taking Advil for the inflammation and today when I went to take another one I suddenly had an epiphany!  I can't take Advil if I'm pregnant! So I took a Tylenol instead.

So now I have to go buy some pregnancy tests at the dollar store since I peed on the ones I had already by accident.

This is going to make for a very busy night as I have other things I'm planning on doing too.

So that's the plan for tonight...go to Costco, buy pee sticks, and pick up

The weeks go by

For the last 2 days, I've been loaned out to another group at my company to help with some stuff and I haven't been able to blog so that's why the blog has been without new stuff lately.

What to say about the last week?

I'm not sure...

It was wet, long, and boring.

And then came the weekend! Yeah weekend!

We had the inlaws over for dinner on Friday night so I took a half day off on Friday and picked up around the house before they came over.  That went well.

We spent most of the time watching wedding coverage on Kate Middleton (or Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge as all the news insists on now calling her) & Prince William.  When I was younger, I had a HUGE crush on the guy and now that he's off the market I'm glad that he ended up with Kate.  She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders...just what the royal family needed!  She'll make a great queen one day.

The next day Dre and I spent the morning outside since it was so warm and sunny outside.  Last week it rained and this week its raining so we took advantage of the sunshine.

Then Dre went off to watch UFC or grown men beat each other to a pulp and I went off for a girl's night that involved lots of food, good wine, and witty conversation!  I had a great time!

On Sunday, we attended my oldest nephew's 1st communion.  That was interesting.  I'm not Catholic and had never been to one before, but I can tell you that I've never sat and stood as often in a 1 hour period.  I got all my exercise for the day just by doing that! 

I have to say that I was in a bad mood on Sunday and Dre wasn't making it any better even though he had no warning and it wasn't his fault.  What?  Are you telling me that the men can't read our minds?  What the hell is that?  Yeah, so Sunday was interesting.  Interesting in the way that it's surprising that my husband is still alive since he likes to play fast and loose with his well-being...so annoying!  Now that I'm past my bad mood/homicidal tendencies I've decided to keep him around.  Love you babe:-)

I watched The Amazing Race on Sunday night and finally got to see pink hair and dumb, whiny boyfriend get eliminated (Vixen & Whiny Kid).  So glad about that since I couldn't stand them at all!  The finale is next week and I'm very excited about it even though my beloved Cowboys team was eliminated in the last show.  Yes, I like and watch Reality TV ppl.  I like it...it's all trashy and amazing at the same time!  It's trashtastic!

On Monday, we had a Federal election in Canada.  It was awesome! 

Now, I normally hate elections because they drag on, the politicians sidestep all the questions and attack the other leaders, and millions upon millions of our money gets spent to elect other clowns politicians to replace the last ones who convinced us they would do such a great job or in some cases keep the same ones for fear that new ones would decide to stand by the highway at traffic hour and wave to the passing cars.  Oh wait, the one we kept allegedly did this (I didn't see it...just heard lots of ppl talking about it).

The first 2-3 weeks of the elections was just like this and then the polls started coming out saying stuff like our 3rd party (who held a government or been the official opposition of the elected government) was gaining on the Liberal Party and could possibly pass them. 

Cue gasps all over!  The outrage!  This isn't how things are done in Canada!  In Canada, we elect the Conservatives or the Liberals and the one not elected gets to be the Opposition.  The NDP don't count 'cause they have slightly crazy ideas about the economy and the Bloc Quebecois is only in Quebec so they have no hope of winning a government.

So imagine the shock when Harper won a majority government (everyone said he couldn't do it) and the NDP formed the official Opposition.  Not only did the NDP manage to make history with this...they also got more seats in the House of Commons that ever before, wrested most of the Bloc Quebecois' seats away from them, and in the process destroyed one of Canada's official parties...the Bloc Quebecois.  The Bloc needed to have 11 seats in the House to retain Official Party status, but they only managed to hand onto 4 seats.

It was a spectacular Election folks!  Now, we'll have to see what our country's elected leaders do in the next 4 years with this new political landscape.

I don't normally go on about politics, but this was a big deal here in Canada and I wanted to highlight it so that when I decide to re-read this blog when I'm 90 years old I remember what was going on.  Yes, I fully intend to live until I'm 90...my grandma is 93 and going strong so I figure I'm determined to last just as long!