A story of sticks

I think my problem is that I make up these great posts in my head and then I either forget about them or feel too lazy to actually type them out.  I'm going to have to do something about this I think.

Anyways, the reason I've been missing for the past week is that I've been preoccupied with...

Peeing on sticks of course!

Yah, my life is boring.  But since this is my blog you get to hear all about it anywaysJ

Since I have no patience I decided to POAS on Thursday which happened to be 11 DPO for me.  Now, we’ve already established with my past pregnancy that my pregnancy test comes up negative at 9 DPO (I don’t know who gets positives on this day, but Fertility Friend keeps insisting that it’s possible for about 15% of people).  So I decided that this was stressing me out too much so fuck it I was POAS.

I did.  At 4:30AM by the way…did I mention that?   Here’s a suggestion.  If you’re going to POAS that early because you have to use precious, precious first-morning pee to make sure all the HCG hormones are captured then you should make sure to TURN ON THE LIGHT to check your test.  I was apparently very asleep since I decided to check the damn thing with my iPhone flashlight.  Didn’t see a line…went back to sleep.  Of course I checked the test again when I woke up ‘cause I like to torture myself and check my tests over and over again. 

And then this is what I saw!!!! 

Don't worry if you can't see the line.  It's there, but my camera doesn't seem too
concerned with taking pictures of what's actually there.

There’s a line!  Oh wait, all the charting and TTC gurus claim that those are evaporation line and to ignore them!  Damn it!

So then I decided to test again on Friday ‘cause my SIL was coming over for a BBQ that night and we needed vodka (who doesn’t need vodka).  So I pee on stick #2.  A different brand by the way. And then I look at it in 5 different kinds of light including running downstairs and using my flashlight to see if I can see a line.  I can BARELY see a line.  As in, my brain could be making this line up, but I only have 10 minutes for the results to be valid and then even if there is a line it could a damn evaporation line again.  

What to do?  Gah!  Run around and tear your hair out!

Then I haul the husband over and get him to tell me what he sees.  He of course declares that he can definitely see a line!  I took a picture of it and even on pics you can’t see a line.  

So I patiently waited till we got back from work and sent the hubby to the pharmacy to get me stuff I was missing for my yummy, yummy vodka drinks and a DIGITAL pregnancy test.  None of that pansy line thing that could be or couldn’t be a line.  Now I will either have a YES or a NO.  No guessing.  Right?

Well, as it turns out the test can come back with a ?.  WTF is that?  Apparently it's an invalid test.  SIL and I discovered this as she was knocking back the vodka and I was drinking my fake vodka drink (no alcohol ppl…sheesh…don’t get all paranoid on me).  So then we had a discussion on whether or not I should take the really expensive digital test on Saturday or another cheapie one.  

Another cheapie one won.  And…

That one was pretty damn positive. 

So what did I do?

I peed on the damn expensive digital test on Sunday which was 14DPO for those who are counting.  Why?  Well, because I can and I’ve never used a digital one.

So on Sunday morning I get up at 6 all bleary eyed and stand at the counter dancing around and trying to pee my pants as I take the test out of its packaging.  Now the instructions say “Test will self-activate when removed from packaging.  You’ll see a steady clock symbol.  DO NOT use if there is not clock symbol.” (I might have paraphrased some…don’t quote me.)

I looked at the damn thing and what do I see?  NOTHING?  No clock, no nothing.  I shake the test.  I take the cover off.  I shake it some more.  I curse at it. I bang it on the counter a few times.  There's still no clock symbol.  Now I start ranting about expensive digital tests that are crap to hubby who is in bed and pretending to sleep.  He of course assumes that I’m too stupid to read instructions and tells me I should pee on it and then the clock will come on.  Hmmmm, right….whatever!  For good measure, I whack the hell out of my test of few more times on the windowsill and look at it.  Miracle!  The clock symbol has suddenly appeared!

So I peed on it and waited for 3 minutes and then it said…

Perfection!

Yup, that’s right folks I am PREGNANT once again!  Also, I have to tell you that I LOVE First Response Digital Pregnancy Tests (no they’re not paying me)!  Apart from the banging required to make the damn things start up, they are genius.  No guessing if there is a line or anything.  It’s perfect!

I'M PREGNANT!  WOOOHOOO!